Quotes from The Postman's Always Shot Twice


Thurgood: "Tae Bo! The secret ancient art of karate/aerobics, Muriel. It was invented thousands of years ago in China by African Americans."
Muriel: "Thurgood, maybe if you didn't dip your potato chips in Crisco...."

Thurgood: "Augh! Those animals! They ruined my Tao Bo tape? I'd kick they ass right now if I knew Tae Bo! All right, everybody, let's go postal!"

Thurgood to postman: "I swear on the souls of my children, we will protect you."
Muriel: "Thurgood, we don't have children."
Thurgood: "We do on our income tax."
Postman: "You can guarantee my safety?"
Thurgood: "Absolutely, and besides, most of the violence in the projects is black and black crime, and you white, right?"
Postman: "Well, actually, look here, man, I'm passin'."

Thurgood: "Mrs. Avery, please, stop shootin', that's the mail man!"
Mrs. Avery: "Mail don't come from a man, mail come from the sky!"

Smokey: "Ooh, the new spring fashions have arrived."

Mrs. Avery: "Muriel, how do you like your sweaters? Too long or too wide?"

Thurgood: "Okay, Mrs. Avery, I got you a nice tall glass of cake."

Thurgood: "Smokey! Now what the devil are you doing in that blue dress?"
Smokey: "Why? Does it make me look fat?"
Thurgood: "Aw, just get out... Wait a mintue, I got an idea. Smokey, how'd you like to make ten bucks?"
Smokey: "Uh, Super, while I find you attractive, I don't want to ruin our friendship."

Bebe: "Jimmy likes his coffee like he likes his women."
Thurgood: "Yeah, well anybody else want a big-ass coffee?"

Thurgood: "Try to think of Mrs. Avery like affirmative action. It was fun while we had it but now it's gone forever."

Mrs. Avery: "I hate old people. They always dyin'. I only been here a week and I've had five roommates."

Mrs. Avery: "Well, I AM somebody. Respect me, protect me, occassionally disinfect me, but don't never neglect me. I am somebody! And I can take care of myself."


Back to episode info