Quotes from National Buffoon's European Vacation

Calvin: Tell her how you can fit twelve hot dogs in your mouth at the same time.
Thurgood: Hmm, I can see I'm just in time. Juicy, you're not gonna impress some girl with an enormous amount of weiner.

Thurgood: What you need to do is find a woman in a bad relationship. That way, you do nothing and still look good by comparison.

Walter: Thurgood, I've always loved Muriel. I frequently fantasize about her naked, and at your funeral, she'll think I've got eight hands... but not until you're dead.
Thurgood: Now, that's a friend.

Thurgood: You and I need to have a man to man-sized-boy talk.

Thurgood: You might want to find somebody who has all her original parts.
Mrs. Avery: I heard that! Well, not really, but I saw you nasty filthy lips move.

Thurgood: Uh, Smoky, I wanna thank you, but since you're freakin' and punchin' yourself in the face and whatnot, I'm just gonna back away slowly and avoid eye contact.

Thurgood: Hey, Smoky, would you favor us with a little melody?
Smoky: Uh, Melody's not workin' tonight, but, uh, I think Babs is available.
Thurgood: I mean sing us a song, you damn former crackhead!

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